A few evenings ago, I was in tears. The trigger was the envy in my own heart of seeing someone’s success. I am reluctant to share that one of my weaknesses is jealousy stemming from pride. Seeing their achievement brought out my ugliness from within. Thankfully, the Lord is working gently on this area of my life.
I have struggled with my identity in what I ‘do’ for the longest time. My identity in school and university was centred on my achievements. Value and worth, I thought, was in the career path I was heading for. I wanted to tell everyone that I did [enter X, Y, Z role] and others would look at me approvingly. We would have conversations about each other’s weeks spent in roles where we felt a sense of accomplishment. Not to mention the pay packet that would follow. We could talk about the home we bought, the holidays we ventured on, and our next steps in our career. Grown up talk. The kind that makes kids yawn.
An Example of Faith
Embarrassingly, I crumbled and sobbed to my husband recently about seeing the success of this other individual. He is a patient man and is unfortunately familiar with this cycle of despair I get into at times. He took me in his arms. I leaned into him on the sofa, removing my glasses to mop up the streams from my eyes. He lovingly reminded me of my worth in Christ and affirmed all that I was doing. He also reminded me of Susanna Wesley (1669-1742), the mother of John and Charles Wesley, who were leaders in revival and founders of Methodism. She made a lasting impression on her sons, who would then go on to do incredible ministry for the gospel.
Susanna was a homemaker who taught her children faithfully from the Bible (she had between 17-19, but only 10 survived infancy). She had a deep understanding of God’s word and was well-read in theology. She prioritised devotions, read from printed sermons, had many come to her home where she gave pastoral care and shared the gospel, and spent time individually with her children at the end of the day to listen to the concerns of their hearts. Susanna was also a writer, through what she wrote in letters to others, as well as her own desire to spread truth in the lives of her children.
Her words ring in my ears, hundreds of years later:
I verily think one great reason why Christians are so often subject to despond is that they look more to themselves than to their Saviour: they would establish a righteousness of their own to rest on, without advertising enough to the sacrifice of Christ, by which we alone are justified before God.
A Prayer of Faith
O Lord Jesus, may I look less at myself and hold my gaze on you, my Saviour. May my peace come from you alone, as I rest upon your perfect righteousness and trust in your incredible sacrifice for me. Because of you, Lord, I am justified and set free. May I use my freedom in you to freely serve and love others, that they may glimpse you and, by your Spirit, may they come to you for salvation.
Susanna Wesley’s life inspires me as a wife, mother, home educator, and homemaker. These roles might not sound like much in the ears of others, and in my own heart. But what an opportunity it is to yield to the Lord by faith where He has placed me. Some may be called to roles that sound much more glorious and grand. But regardless of where we have been positioned, as Christians, we have work to do in sharing the good news of Jesus. We are workers for Him; He is our Head, our Commanding Officer, our Friend, our King, our everything.
I sit here on a beautifully sunny day, edified by a woman who faithfully followed her conscience and her Lord. I can only pray that any legacy I leave for my husband, my children, those I meet, or who read my words, will point far less to me, but to the adoration of my faithful God. He is the same God who enabled Susanna to serve her family, who strengthens me to serve mine.
A Final Thought
As I was reading more about Susanna Wesley, I found out that the name of her mother was unknown. I thought about her mother and what she would make of her daughter’s legacy in the lives of so many. Yet her own name was etched out of history. Many of us will never be remembered. Like gravestones with faded names and dates, we are but dust, and to dust we will return. We may be forgotten as soon as those who knew us pass away. Maybe we will be ‘unknown’, too.
The comfort we have is we are known and loved by Jesus. We were always meant to be known and loved by Him. That is how we were created. To be loved by God. To love Him in return. To be united to Him. We come to the Father, through Jesus who has made a way for us to come to God. If we do not yet trust in Him, we remain separated from God by our sin. There is nothing we can do to become right with God or to earn a place in heaven. We cannot ‘win’ God over. We cannot work our way up the spiritual ladder and get in prime position. We can only humbly received His free gift of grace found at the cross. He came down to save us.
Because Jesus Christ died, we can have eternal life. Because of His blood shed on the cross, we are washed from our sin and will pass from death to everlasting life to be in His presence forever. He was the perfect One, who has always been; He planned it this way with His Father from the beginning. He planned to pardon us, to bring us home, to be with us always.
Whatever you think about God at this very moment, know that you are known. You matter to God. You were made to know Him. He made it so. Come to Him by faith and trust in His perfect love for you perfectly displayed at the cross. Your sin was nailed to it. His nail-scarred hands hold both the stars of the galaxies and the heartbeat in your chest. In Christ, you are known, loved, and safe. For all eternity.
Ruth Clemence – Writer and Blogger 