Self-care is all the rage these days, except when it’s nearly impossible to do. Here are five practical ways you can still take care of yourself as you take care of others.
(This post first appeared on my Substack – Anchored Hope For Her Heart)
We know self-care is needed. We know burnout is real. But is it just me, or is it hard to get a proper good rest from our responsibilities?
You know that getting out in nature would work wonders. Even a good cup of coffee outside of the house. But you have no one to come and relieve you from caring. Maybe there are no family members or close friends nearby to help practically, no professional carers coming in, or there is anxiety from either you or a loved one if you leave the house.
Getting to listen to your favourite TV show or read a book would be bliss, but you are on a high state of alert waiting for the next emergency call, meltdown or the never-ending interruptions. You can never fully relax and switch off.
Meeting up with friends and sharing what is going on with you is just what you need. But inviting them over is hard because they are busy, or you know you will not be able to share openly. Meeting them somewhere in public means having to get an idea of what the environment could be like for you and the ones in your care. Is it too noisy? Too crowded? Is their a toilet nearby? Even longing to be invited over to someone’s house would be wonderful, but you can’t remember the last time that you were welcomed over by anyone. Trying to accommodate the various needs seem too difficult for them perhaps, but it would be great if somebody at least tried…
Let’s not think about the organisation of a spa day, holidays, attending therapy sessions, joining a regular group, having a good nights sleep, taking up a hobby and all the rest. These are all good things. But they are not always practical or possible. So with all of that said… here are a few ways to look after your wellbeing which I hope are both practical and possible:
- Jot down thoughts, prayers, and gratitude. You might not be a writer. You might not have a lot of time. But try and offload what is going on inside. Don’t hold it all in your head. When I was going through cancer for the second time, I wrote a bullet point list of something to give thanks for — any mercy that I found around me. It soon added up. As my mood and energy levels would peak and trough, I could refer back to the many things around me that were blessings. Pray to your Father in heaven who hears you. That is probably the most practical thing you can do which will be good at any time — day or night.
- Message someone who will listen. A message saying ‘I would really love a chat’ is all it takes to reach out. People may not think without being asked. That can be hard. You also might not have a lot of time to offload to someone, but maybe there is a better time in the day or even in the night, when you know the one you care for will be more occupied. They might be resting or watching something perhaps. You can always try and arrange a phone call around this or leave a voice note on WhatsApp. Maybe share how you may get interrupted, but you would still appreciate a listening ear. Just having another person to talk to can help lessen the feeling of isolation. If you really feel there is no one to talk to, you are welcome to message me: hello@ruthclemence.com
- Listen to music or gaze at art. Whether it’s some nostalgic tunes blasting out or gentle classical music to calm the atmosphere, music is a gift. We don’t have to do anything but let it play. If the noise is a problem for others around you, have one ear piece in or listen to it at a set time when you put the kettle on. Just enjoy it. Maybe art is more your thing. I recently found two art prints in the charity shop and put them up along the stairs. I’ve never really been into art, but I am starting to appreciate the beauty of it more. Monet and Renoir are two artists that I now have paintings of. I would like to get some landscape photographs up there too. Being in the city, it is nice to think upon the wonder of creation in all its splendour. Looking at art and listening to music are a calming oasis in dry, desperate days.
- Have Bible verses written and stuck around the house. Writing truth out and placing it somewhere where you will stop regularly to read it is a wonderful way of keeping your mind on Jesus. It’s easy to lose perspective and feel the creeping in of self-pity at times. Be renewed in your mind and let the Holy Spirit bring these words of hope and life to your attention. Keeping a few on the promises of God are always worth meditating on. We are caring for others who are dependant upon us which is a wonderful ministry. It is a vital ministry of mercy and love. The evil one would do everything to make you forget the kindness and love of God for you as you care. Jesus answered back to the devil’s temptations with scripture. The word of God carries authority and comfort for every situation.
- Order something to look forward to. I don’t know what would bring a smile to your face, but sometimes we have to bring that to our homes! In a day where deliveries can be ordered at a click of a button, it’s never been easier to treat yourself. Caregivers need pick-me-ups too. I know what a blessing it is to receive gifts in the post. Maybe you can purchase some beautiful flowers to brighten up your sitting room. Perhaps a good belly laugh is in order and you buy a comedy to watch or listen to. If you’re like me, a book in the post is glorious! Maybe you can buy some nice body wash, a craft box, art supplies, something to colour, a box of chocolates, a takeaway, a massager for your back or feet, some scented candles or essential oils, new slippers… It doesn’t need to break the bank, but it’s nice to have something to look forward to that is for you!
How do you make time to take care of your wellbeing? Let me know what you do or if you also find it hard to take time to care for yourself. It would be great to hear from you :).
P.S. I know physically exercising is super important too, and I will tag that on here at the end (more as a reminder to myself to get on it). I am hopeless at fitting in a workout, but that is something that I do want to try and get into the habit of doing. Please someone hold me accountable!
Ruth Clemence 