What happens when you rebel against God so much that you hurt yourself, those around you and even the Lord Himself? Is there any way that the hurts and the bad decisions can ever be made right? Can you ever truly turn away from the darkness and pursue the light?
I have made so many mistakes. Countless. They just keep on happening. An apology does not go far enough. I have hurt so many people through reckless actions; not following the right path, but instead choosing a way that leads only to hurt. Whether it was hurting someone’s feelings, making myself look like a fool through one to many drinks, disobeying my parents, telling a white lie, gossiping, getting angry and using unnecessary language… the list is endless. So what? No one is perfect, right?
Jesus Christ is perfect. But what difference does that make? How does that even remotely make a difference to my life? Why shouldn’t I have fun? After all, I only live once.
I only live once? So that justifies my actions? I should do what I like? I should see what the latest trends are and follow the crowd? What’s the point of following the crowd? Why should I conform to the world’s standards? Since when has the world been right?
I find myself facing the inner monologue. I am facing all of the temptations of a life that satisfies me and have to make a choice – to go my way or to actively pursue Jesus to change my heart and guide my choices to conform to the better life – an everlasting life with Him. The inner monologue is that moment in my mind where a discussion takes place: when I try in my own strength to do the right thing, but end up doing the wrong thing and therefore cause hurt and humiliation – away from God’s will. It describes the times when I fail and the guilt that creeps in overwhelms me to deep sorrow. It is a battlefield in my mind. It makes me think that I am no good. That the poor choices I have made have pushed me too far away from God. That I am somehow responsible for not being a good example and leading ‘that’ person to know Jesus.
Well – there is a way to defeat this Inner Monologue. And that is Spiritual Dialogue. This, I believe can be used in two specific ways. Firstly, I know the Lord wants us to keep in conversation with Him. By spending time in the bible and praying, we develop our relationship with Jesus. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength – and that means defeating the Inner Monologue. The doubts, fears, distractions, hurts and all the rest of it. We can grow in the Lord Jesus and defeat all the flaming arrows that come our way by putting on the armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-20). Secondly, through this dialogue we have with Jesus, we can then confidently and boldly speak out against our enemies. We can love them as Jesus taught us too – the Spirit in us can be the words that can be spoken against our adversaries. Songs of praise can be used to defeat the enemy. So sing! Sing with all your heart – I know this to be true. He cannot stand a worshipper with a heart for the Lord.
I say to you – face the inner monologue with the Spiritual Dialogue. Be courageous. Never give up. It may look odd to someone who does not know the Lord. It doesn’t matter. Who are you serving? Them? Yourself? Or Jesus?