My blog has been silent for a few weeks now. The busyness of life has crept in once more. I find myself able to take a few minutes to type a few thoughts down on this grey November morning.
What has been going on in my life that has kept me from the joy of writing?
Work has an impact. My job within cancer services is long and tiring. I find it hard to keep my eyes open at the end of the day and find that I have little time to write. I do not think I will ever be one of those writers who can keep on penning fresh ideas into the night, as much as I think that would be an excellent use of time!
Although I am tired and my writing has taken a hit, the reward of helping others on their cancer journey keeps me going at my job. There is a sense of family that I feel I have at work. There are consultants, registrars, doctors, nurses, auxiliaries, cleaners, secretaries, receptionists and wider healthcare professionals that I come into contact with on a daily basis. For me, the hospital has become like an extended family. Sad? Perhaps. But true. I spend ten hours a day in the hospital and no day is the same. It is tiring. It is challenging. But I really believe I am there for a purpose greater than I can understand at this point in time.
Another reason I have not concentrated on blogging is because I have been visiting my family back in East Anglia for a couple of weeks. It gave me rest and great joy to be with my family after six months apart. I miss them greatly and I am thankful for the time that I had to just ‘be’ with them.
Finally, I have not been sure what to write. I cannot think of something suitable to write for my blog or for an article. Sometimes I forget to pen my thoughts down as a new idea comes to mind. As I walk along the main hospital corridor at work, I often experience an inner monologue similar to that of J.D from Scrubs. Never seen Scrubs? Here is a video as an example:
I am always thinking. Constantly. About something or other. It can be helpful for my writing. It can also serve as a massive distraction.
Thus, it has been difficult to write. But here I am once more. Typing. Musing. Thinking.
I must tell you of something very exciting.
Next year I will only be working for three days a week at the hospital. This leaves me two full days to write. This dream of becoming a writer is starting to take shape.
When I was about 17 or 18 years old, I said to a good friend of mine that I wanted to help people and I wanted to be a writer.
It seems that this is becoming a reality beyond what I would have imagined. I never would have thought that I would be working with cancer patients. I thought that once I had finished my chemotherapy, I would never have to think about cancer again. It amuses me how this has all worked out. My consultant asked me if I found working in oncology too close to home. The funny thing is, I never really think about my cancer. I focus on the patient in front of me. Their feelings. Their diagnosis. Their treatment. Their story. It is their story, not mine. Nonetheless, I feel as if I have a hidden connection with each patient as I have walked that road before. The very uncertain, scary road.
Another piece of news is that I have been discharged from the oncology clinic. Praise God for this. He was with me at the beginning, and He is still with me now. Unfailing love. Amazing grace.
A Prayer For All
The writer in me is desperate to break out. I have experienced radio broadcasting, local newspaper journalism, online publishing, and magazine publishing. My prayer is that I will write in such a way that people will want to know more about the God in whom I place my trust. I hope that the words I write will strike a chord with readers and lead them into a place where they can come to know the Lord. I hope I can reach those who love the Lord and I can encourage them as they journey through this life, whilst helping them to keep their eyes focused on the eternal. I pray for those who are seeking to find out about God more, and I hope I can help to support them in this. I also pray for those who have made the decision to ignore the Lord. I pray that they will have a softened heart to just know that there is a God who loves them.
When it comes to suffering, pain, and loss, it is often used as a reason to dismiss God. But something crucial is missing here. Jesus Christ suffered in agony on the cross and died too. Why? For all of us. He bridged the gap between God and mankind. He took our sin upon Himself. We are now blameless before God because of Christ, if we repent and trust in what Jesus did on the cross for the whole world. God loved us so much that He gave His sinless Son for us. If anyone knows about suffering, pain and loss, it is God.
For this reason he (Jesus Christ) had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Hebrews 2:17
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
As a writer and a helper to others, I want to write about God’s love in a sinful, fallen world in order to help others. Without Him, we are like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus has compassion on us.
Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36
He is faithful and He will lead us to a place of refuge. It starts at the foot of the cross.
As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30