Can you hear my cry? It feels as if you are silent. Do you notice the anguish of the ones I love? It looks like they have been forgotten. Do you look on as one challenge piles onto another challenge, and then turn your face away? It seems as if you may be preoccupied whilst the ones I love cripple under the pressure of daily life.
Yesterday night I spoke praise and uplifting words in front of people to speak of your goodness. Tonight I write – broken. It’s only been 24 hours and this vessel is cracked. You know that I write to share your goodness in the midst of the broken parts of life. It’s hard to write about the good when I see so much hurt, pain and sorrow around me. Especially afflicting the ones I care for so deeply.
A time of refreshing, renewing and re-writing is desperately needed. I need to write a new song because I feel disorientated and disconnected in this current state. But where can I get a new song from? There is so much anger and frustration being regurgitated in my heart at the injustice I see for those I love. Do you hear my heart’s cry? If I can’t be honest to you, who can I be honest to?
I have prayed prayers for so long and it’s so hard to not see the working out of it in the timing and in the way I want. My prayers become self-absorbed with how I think you should answer them. Help me to hand all of this over to you – fully.
I cry out to you asking for a new song. Please put a new song in my heart with a fresh vision of who you are and lift me from this place of pain. Help me to not be overcome by the anguish. The enemy so desperately wants me to be overwhelmed and lost in all of this – but he cannot break me because he couldn’t break you. In you I continue to trust, even when I cannot see. Strengthen me and the ones I love for every day that we have to face these battles.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
Blessed is the one
who trusts in the Lord…
Psalm 40 verses 2-4