It’s the first week of my third trimester. The last couple of days has seen this sweet little one wriggling inside me more frequently and more powerfully than I have noticed before. It’s entertaining watching the ripples of movement across my bump as Baby Clemence adjusts and explores its current home.
I couldn’t resist naming the title of the post ‘the pregnant ninja’ because a few weeks ago a few friends gave me that nickname. It was due to the fact that I could catch a ball quite swiftly and consistently I think; imagine ninja-like ability with a big bump – that was me. However, anyone that knows me at all knows I repel sport. I’m either too competitive, too unfit or too afraid to embarrass myself at how bad I am at it!
However, with the swift and more uncomfortable kicks that I keep feeling within me I would say the ninja attributes are definitely a Baby Clemence thing. I’m pregnant. He or she is the ninja!
I haven’t written much about my pregnancy. Maybe it’s because I think so many people could write about pregnancy better than me. Perhaps it’s because I am still trying to process it all and take it a day at a time as everything begins to change. However, I think it’s a fair comment to say I am naturally excited to meet little one and that deserves a mention (waves to future son or daughter who may decide to read the past posts of their embarrassing mother!).
In equal measure though, I am really nervous about the whole thing. Labour, birth and looking after Baby Clemence always leaves me in a weird place of excitement, anticipation and trepidation. I am never too far away from a worrying thought, especially as I am in my final trimester.
The due date creeps closer. People around me are getting more excited and want to know if I have done this or that yet in preparation for the new arrival. I am not as overwhelmed as I used to be when I walked into a Mothercare shop. I inwardly hope I will be the very best mum that I can be for this beautiful life despite all of this uncertainty.
A couple of my friends have given birth to beautiful children in recent months. I’m so pleased for them, but as I see pictures pop up on Instagram of everything looking so natural and great for them, I think to myself ‘I hope I can do it – it’s my turn soon’. The last few months have gone so fast, antenatal classes have started and I am having another scan this week.
In the middle of all of these changes, I have to pause and breathe.
Pause.
Breathe.
The God who I have been writing about on this blog since 2011 was with me at a time of change and struggle. He has been with me for as long as I can remember. In the midst of my worry, He comforts me. He provides me with amazing family and friends to walk me through it.
Gently, tenderly, He reminds me that I am His child and that He is my Father.
I go back to a place of child-like faith and trust.
Resting in His presence, I am soothed and tenderly cared for.
With this truth wrapped around my heart and mind, I know that God will be with Joel and I as we step into this next phase of life; He is with us as we soothe and tenderly love our child. For we are His children.
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
An Anchored Hope 
All the very best, Ruth. You’ll be a super Mum, I’ve no doubt at all. We’re now into the next phase when youngest son gets engaged and to be married next year. Closer to the grandparent stage than the parent now!