A lot of my time is spent lost in my thoughts which is also part of the territory as a writer. I have had a lot of dreams – some that have come to life and others that have fizzled out. There have also been those dreams that have been put on the shelf for the time being and have started gathering dust. Dreams that simmer away under the surface which I hope will boil and bubble over into reality at some point. I have BIG dreams.
God knows my dreams better than I do. Sometimes I imagine him face-palming as I think of another. I am comforted that He knows the desires of my heart. In this new season, some of my dreams have been put on hold whilst others have come to life. Becoming a mother is a dream-come-true for me. Writing has taken a back seat. But that’s OK.
I find myself regularly coming to God in quiet desperation, asking for a clear map of what I should be doing with my time, what I should be working towards, how I could best serve Him whilst bringing all of my plans and laying them before Him open-handed. Surrender is difficult, but oh boy, I am learning that it is necessary.
As I read through Psalm 37 recently, I wrote 3 verses and prayers in response to how I was feeling about all of these dreams of mine.
- ‘Take delight in the Lord and he will give you your heart’s desires.’ Psalm 37:4
Lord, you know the desires of my heart better than me. I need to entrust those dreams to you.
2. ‘Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.’ Psalm 37:5
Lord, help me to stay on Your path, wholly committed to You. Help me to use my gifts and skills to best serve and glorify Your name. Help me to always trust in who You are, not in my gifts and abilities.
3. ‘Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him.’ Psalm 37:7 [emphasis added]
Help me to do both these things!
It’s not about what I do, but it’s all about who He is and who I am through Him.
A part of dreaming means I need to get back to the here and now! I have been reading a book by Joni Eareckson Tada called ‘Secret Strength’ which I am borrowing from a good friend. Her words pierced my heart and spoke truth which I needed to be reminded of.
‘God’s timing is for right now, not for some mist-shrouded future. His purpose is for this minute, not for something better down the road. His power and His presence are available to you as you draw your next breath, not for some great impending struggle.’
I spend so much of my time thinking about the future. There is nothing wrong with dreaming or seeking God for the next steps. However, I am often neglecting the beauty and the brilliance of the here and now. I have purpose now. I don’t need to move onto the next thing when I could easily miss the best thing right in front of me today.
‘In God’s economy, it is today that is of utmost importance. The way you cling to Christ today, the opportunities you maximize today, the conversations you engage in or the acts of kindness you perform today are the most critical activities of your entire life. And who this side of heaven knows how God may use them?’
I love this. Today counts. It matters. It’s significant. What we do today can impact someone more than we know. God can use our weaknesses and turn it into something truly beautiful – His strength shines through. We don’t need to wait until the next great thing before God can use us. He isn’t looking for perfect people. He comes to us in our weakness and His strength sustains us for the day.
We cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying (Matthew 6:27) and we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34). Sometimes I worry that I will miss out on my dreams, but the reality is I end up missing out on the wonder of today as I look to the future.
Corrie ten Boom once said: ‘Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.’
Today matters. Dreams matter. You matter. It all matters to God.
I have to let the words of God wash over my weary heart as I seek God and entrust my dreams to Him. This is something I need to come to Him with every day. My dreams might not work out how I imagine them to, but I know that God has a plan for my life. He sees the bigger picture from beginning to end. I need not worry.