My little segment of space on the internet has been quiet. I guess my thoughts have been pretty quiet which is unusual for me. A couple of nights ago I made the mistake of having coffee before bed. I watched as my friends ordered decaf at the restaurant we were at, and I somehow convinced myself that regular coffee would be fine. I ended up not being able to sleep for most of the night. For the thoughts that I have had, it turns out they aren’t the smartest ones.
In the quietness of this particular day, here I am once more typing away on this blog of mine. I haven’t had the foggiest clue what to share with the world – it’s been a bit of a desert season in my head with a few tumbleweeds thrown in. Maybe it’s because I had such a lovely Christmas being back with my family in Norfolk and I am still kind of living on that feeling of loveliness where everything is just right at the moment. Nothing out of the ordinary that has happened so far. Maybe I have got this simplicity thing sorted already (see my first blog post of the year). However, I doubt it. There may be tumbleweeds rolling in this head of mine, but I am still managing to spin several plates at once. OK, so my head is more like a circus in the desert.
Simplicity and expectancy.
There is someone in my life who I look up when it comes to simplicity and expectancy and that’s my sister Zoe. She is content with the simple things of life, yet with cerebral palsy, it would be easy to imagine things getting clouded and complicated fairly quickly. However, Zoe has and continues to overcome so many obstacles and not just overcome them, but smile through it all.
When I came back for Christmas, Zoe showed me her email account. Many of us would take email accounts for granted and I know a lot of us would grumble about our inboxes being filled after taking a break from work. Not my sister. Every day she checks her inbox to see if there is any mail. A simple task faced with amazing expectancy. The joy on her face when she received an email from one of her previous carers lit up the whole room.
It’s not just the simple task of checking emails and the expectancy that comes with waiting, hopeful for a message. I didn’t realise that Zoe wrote her emails by herself. We have exchanged emails and some of the ones she wrote were made up of a paragraph or two. It takes her a good amount of concentration to control her fine motor skills and press the keys on the keyboard. She carefully presses each letter and stops to ask how certain words are spelled (although she spells incredibly well!) and this takes time and energy.
I felt tears well up as I found out she wrote these lovely messages by herself. As I thought about how she waited expectantly for a simple thing like an email, it challenged me on my own journey towards greater simplicity and expectancy.
It’s been a bit of a desert time in my relationship with God too.
But maybe the desert is the start of something new.
In the dry, barren desert where there seems to be nothing, there is a spring of water, an oasis that I can drink from. In the shade of a palm tree, I can rest for a while. God is speaking to me in the desert. God provides living water in the desert places. God gives Himself.
May I sit quietly in the presence of the Lord with a simple and expectant spirit, being filled again with this living water that comes from knowing Jesus.
There is nothing left to do except be still and wait expectantly, filled with hope.
Just like my sister doing something that may seem simple to me but more difficult for her (typing an email), what might actually be simple (coming to God) can actually be more of a challenge (waiting on God).
Yet, Zoe overcomes every challenge and likewise, I will not be stuck in the sand. Like Zoe who faithfully checks her inbox every day, I will trust that Jesus will be faithful and speak to me by His Spirit in the waiting.